Finally, There's Help for Those Who Have a Parent with Borderline Personality Disorder...

Do You Suspect Worry Fear Believe That You Grew Up in a Household with Patterns of Borderline Personality Disorder?​

Growing Ourselves Whole

The Reparentive™ Therapy Group for Adults who have a Parent with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Growing up with a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder can be both difficult and isolating. Many children of parents with BPD never experienced the emotional stability, security and support they needed.  If you had a parent with BPD or a history of trauma and emotional instability, this group may be especially helpful, particularly if you:

  • Want to explore and understand the impact of growing up with a parent with BPD
  • Are drawn to persons with histories of trauma or emotional dysregulation
  • Find yourself trying to accommodate others, even when it is not in your best interest
  • Have difficulty trusting yourself and others
  • Are confused about the validity of your needs
  • Have difficulty maintaining your personal boundaries
  • Long for understanding
  • Feel uncomfortable in “your own skin”

Perhaps you’ve tried many ways to heal and still feel stuck. That’s understandable — healing is a long and complex process. Come be in our circle and experience the support of others whose lives have also been touched by BPD.

This 10-week group will  incorporate mindfulness, embodiment practices, experiential exercises, resource building, interpersonal sharing, as well as other therapeutic practices that support recovery from trauma. Participants will receive mirroring, support, as well as opportunities for integration and connection.

Each week’s theme relates to the experience of growing up with a parent with BPD. Themes include: boundaries, emotional volatility/unpredictability, resources, knowing what we want, understanding our parent’s history.

Participants have reported:

  • feeling at home in a group unlike ever before
  • integration of the theoretic with lived experience
  • a boost in their sense of confidence and competence

This work is an important step toward reversing patterns of intergenerational trauma.

This diverse and inclusive group is open to any resident of California.

10 Wednesday evening virtual meetings

January 10, 2024- March 20 (no group on 2/28)

5-7pm
$750 plus $180 intake session*

*Individual intake session with Pamela is required before joining the group

Group Participants Shared These Words

“There's more space in me for love because the shame is getting smaller.”
“For a long time I wanted to connect with other people who came from monstrous backgrounds, but who weren’t becoming monsters too. This group helped me find a peace my ancestors couldn’t envision.”
“I see past the trauma to the person I am.”

What is ReParentive™ Therapy?

ReParentive™: the term is a hybrid of two therapeutic concepts: reparative (adj) and reparent (v) and includes the concept of reparations. This approach has roots in therapeutic modalities that prioritize embodiment, mindfulness, liberation, and social justice; it is non-hierarchical and non-pathologizing. 

ReParentive™ Therapy is an active process of making up for past wrongs. It provides the opportunity for the client to receive what they never got, without disempowering them, infantilizing, or creating problematic attachment or reenactment. The therapist acts as a repairing parent (thus the term), who can make reparations to the client’s child self and encourages the adult child to take in the available, safe nourishment so that they can begin to shift their internal sense of what is possible, and let the new options impact their sense of self.

Reparentive Therapy is an intergenerational trauma healing model that encompasses three main elements: 1) an emphasis on the therapeutic relationship, 2) an emphasis on providing the group member/client with a missing experience, and 3) the use of the therapist’s own stable, regulated nervous system as an interactive, dyadic regulator of the group member/client’s nervous system, which supports the experience of secure attachment.

Reparentive Therapy requires the therapist to embody the characteristics and qualities that provide the adult child of a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder or with longstanding attachment issues, (emotional dysregulation, distress tolerance), with a missing, reparative, relational experience. In this model the therapist learns how to be a predictable and reliable source of support and to effectively, consistently, and non-defensively show up for relational interactions and provide repair.

The qualities that are cultivated in the therapist / group leader include transparency, humility, and authenticity. The therapist needs to provide both empathic relational connection and clear, consistent boundaries, while simultaneously supporting the clients’ experience of autonomy and choice. The therapist, unlike the parent with BPD, celebrates the clients’ success and reinforces their sense of agency and individuation. An emphasis is placed on accepting imperfection with grace and compassion and highlighting the reality that human beings are messy and mistakes are a natural part of being human, especially in relationship!

Pamela RosinHi, I’m Pamela Rosin, Marriage and Family Therapist.

It’s no surprise that I became a therapist. I’ve always been a personal growth junkie. I’ve been in therapy most of my life. Maybe it’s because I was wallowing or stuck or seeking maternal love in the form of a therapist. Go figure!

Everything changed 15 years ago when a bodyworker handed me the book Understanding the Borderline Mother. I was shocked as I read it. How did Christine Ann Lawson, the author, manage to hide in my childhood home and capture it so accurately? Equipped with the term Borderline Personality Disorder, everything made sense. Maybe I wasn’t crazy. 

Right away, I started a peer group and it was revolutionary. All those years in therapy, I hadn’t realized, there’s only so much you can get from a therapist offering empathy without divulging their own experience. In a group you can share stories and it’s different. I remember someone saying to the group, “What are you doing in my head? I thought I was the only one having these thoughts!”

The group inspired me to become a therapist who could support this population. No one was offering groups for adult children of parents with BPD or similar emotional deficits. 

So I had to create it.

I drew on a multitude of modalities and life experiences to create Growing Ourselves Whole — a group therapy experience for adult children of parents with BPD. I like to say, this group is my baby. I genuinely mean it. I’ve dedicated myself to healing this wounding in the world. I’m committed to reversing the intergenerational trauma of BPD (or similar developmental wounding) in as many people as possible.

I’ve created a gem; it’s nothing short of magic. Each time I offer the group, I’m astounded by the synergy of the people who come together. As group leader, I create a field of safety and love where people step forward with deep truths and take in each other’s care. I get to stand back and bask in the power of a proven curriculum, having offered it nine times. The structure is conducive to deep sharing, ah-ha moments, laughter, tears, growth. Members experience an end to their lifelong sense of isolation. Every week as I close the Zoom meeting, I exclaim “#*@$! YES!”

As I see all the unraveling that’s happening in the world, I know there’s no time to waste. People need this. They’ve needed it their whole lives. It doesn’t just impact them, but everyone and everything around them.

According to Carl Buchheit, the Founder of NLP Marin:

“BPD sits behind and beneath about 80% of the pain in people’s lives. This is not a psychological observation. I am sure most psychologists would think this percentage is absurdly high. In my experience, it is accurate. Everyone deals with the effects of BPD patterning, either in themselves or in the behavior of the people they work with or relate with—or do anything with. There is no hyperbole in these sentences, alas.”

Experts on BPD and DBT who have contributed to the development of this program:

  • Justine Polevoy, MFT Certified Hakomi Psychotherapist, Certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist
  • Christine Benvenuto, MFT Co-founder of Oakland DBT and Mindfulness Center, and psychedelic therapist 
  • David Fish, MFT DBT Center of Marin, Faculty of Hakomi Institute of CA

About your trainer

64 Successful Participants
164+ Instructional Hours
1,300+ Clinical Participation Hours
6+ Years of Targeted Therapeutic Support

Qualifications

  • Masters degree in Integral Counseling Psychology from California Institute of Integral Studies
  • Group Therapy Training Program The Psychotherapy Institute one-year training program offering an in-depth study of the theory and practice of group therapy facilitation.
  • ​Training in DBT skills: 6-week video course with Marsha Linehan, 8-week observation of a class at Oakland DBT and Mindfulness Center.
  • Brainspotting Trauma healing technique Level 1 & 2
  • Certified Hakomi Therapist
  • Assisted Hakomi Comprehensive Training 2012-2013 and Hakomi Graduate Level course at California Institute for Integral Studies.
  • Trained in ReCreation of Self. Assisted RCS trainings.
  • Trained in Trauma healing at Hakomi Institute: From Trauma to Dharma-A Mindfulness-based Trauma Therapy Training
  • Certificate in Relational Somatic Healing
  • Certified Advanced Relax and Renew Restorative Yoga Teacher by Judith Lasater
  • Trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples
  • Advanced Hakomi Couples training with Rob Fisher

Be the One that Helps End the Intergenerational Trauma...

Ready to Work with Me? Join the Waitlist!

Are you struggling to manage your relationship with your loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder? Perhaps this is your partner, parent, sibling, friend, co-worker, etc. I occasionally offer ReParentive Therapy groups virtually in California.  I am training therapists to work with groups and individuals.  If you’d like to be notified when there is a new group or therapist in your area, just enter your name, email and state of residence in the form below so I can match you with with someone qualified to help you.